2 + 1 = 3 :)

Tomorrow we finally get to meet our precious Lily. I cannot take this huge grin off my face. I was really nervous all day....it hit me after our am doctor's visit that  it would no longer be just Mike and I....we would have an actual human being depending on us for the rest of our lives. I was, and still am, scared/nervous for the actual labor process. There WILL be an epidural...kudos to those wackos out there that can push out a watermelon without the need for pain meds.....I am not that kind of woman and never will be. I cry over paper cuts people. I wonder how long I will last, how long labor will be, and most importantly if I will be able to go the non-c section route. Whatever is safest for Lily will have to do but I would love not having to deal with post surgery Amy. If I cry over paper cuts, imagine how I am after surgery!

Having this huge grin is a total 180 for how I have been over the last two weeks, especially the last week! I always heard that the end of your pregnancy is so hard, you are so tired ya di ya.....well it was unbearable for me. This was not an easy pregnancy and towards the end almost everyday I was experiencing something new or even more difficulties with the symptoms I was having. It was such a mind game I wasn't prepared for. You see I am a MAJOR planner, and the game began at our 36 week check up when I was surprised to find that I was already 70% effaced. It seemed everyone I spoke to said wow you could go early...so the planner in me started to prepare myself for that scenario. At 37 weeks I was 75% effaced and already dilated 1 cm! Then more people said I bet you go at 38 weeks....so I got even more excited. At 38 weeks I had no change. The doctor even stripped my membrane to help induce labor. It doesn't always work but if it does you are expected to have the baby within 3 days. It was a very painful procedure, but I didn't care....all I wanted was to be done and have my baby! Four days later no baby...I hit a wall and started to second guess a little but was still hopeful that I would go before 40 weeks. At 39 weeks I hit 2-3 cm and 80%- I thought for sure I would go at any point!!! That doctor tried to strip my membrane again just to see if it would work...this time it was even more painful and what do you know, it did not work....At 40 weeks no change again!!! There I am, Mrs. planner, all ready for baby because of all these signs of being dilated and getting my membrane stripped, and then nothing....I was so emotional. On top of that I have had family and friends email, text and call daily wondering where she is. One day I had  had it and did not answer my phone at all, not even for my dad. I called my mom crying. Sobbing I yelled "I have NO clue when she is coming, I am going to be pregnant forever, I want people to stop asking!" Know now that I totally understand and appreciate all the caring friends and family I have. It is has been so tough because I felt like I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. NOW I do! Now I smile instead of cry because tomorrow it all comes to an end and I finally get to meet this child inside me.

I kept myself busy all day and didn't take a nap so I could hopefully get some sleep tonight....I will be surprised if I get 2 hours....I am so pumped. We have to be at the hospital tomorrow morning at 6:15 to start the induction! June 21st will be my baby's birth date!!!  Gotta run and finish packing Mike's bag, mine has been packed for weeks;)