The Bean's Debut

Words cannot describe how happy today's doctor appointment left us. Today we saw The bean for the first time and heard his/her heartbeat! Music to my ears ;) The tech measured the beats and The Bean has a strong healthy heart beat for 7 weeks. Yes we found out I am 7 weeks, still early. Today we also decided to go public with the news. A dear friend, Shauna, told me to just go for it. That no matter what happens it is better to have the support of family & friends, and I totally agree! I will be sending this blog out to family and friends, as I will not be posting everything online & not sending out 30 different emails with each update:) This little blog is just so much easier!

So The Bean is healthy and the size of a centimeter! The small round looking thing to the bottom right attached to the baby is actually not a manatee tail (what I dubbed it), it is the yolk sac- what is feeding the baby because Lord knows Taco Bell is not the best! Hopefully this crazy carb/ greasy food phase is exactly that....a phase! You cannot see it, but you could see the heart race as it was beating- so amazing!

As I type this my stomach is talking to me- I have to run and eat before I get sick! Will post later- but for know we would like to introduce you to The Bean!

Rip Van Winkle

Fast food was my best friend last week....this week my pillow, soft sheets and my bed (THE most comfy bed on the planet) are my BFFs. I can guarantee that I will take a nap everyday in the afternoon and it is for at least TWO full hours! Before I was having issues with taking a nap and then not being able to sleep during the night- well now I can't get enough of it. I am always so dog gone tired! I have learned a trick- I have to eat something filling prior to bed to help with the nausea and to help me fall asleep :) Last night I had a slice of bread with pb & honey....Mmmmmmmm, my mouth is watering! Nausea was horrible this last weekend. I laid around in pjs and was lazy lazy lazy. On Sunday we woke up and ran to get dog food and stopped by Macy's to order a chair Mike wanted for his office. Mike did an awesome job picking it out- it is a chaise that you can just melt into and take a nice little nap(everything revolves around sleep!). On our way home we picked up some Moe's (that was allllll Mike!) and by the time I finished my taco I was curling up on the sofa and then OUT! Sleeping is my forte!

Mike's new COMFY office chair ;)

And so it begins...

The sickness was NOT due to lack of sleep...it is the start of the first trimester sickness! I have yet to share this blog with anyone yet....just logging my daily thoughts and emotions...but when anyone starts to read this I can describe what I'm feeling very easily.....the WORST HANGOVER EVER! At no point in the day does it get better. The only positive is that I have yet hugged the porcelain god, or get sick while out working or running errands...and I only hope that I don't! By 1:30 I am walking zombie. I am beyond tired and afternoon naps are a slice of heaven.

I am so glad I lost 14 pounds over the past few months because fast food has become a best friend (rolling my eyes & sticking out my tongue). My friend Skyla loved her some Chick-fil-a and talking to her today made me crave it. Thank goodness I have a mom that was two seconds from one and kindly dropped off some chicken nuggets, waffle fries and a large diet lemonade! (Thanks Em for the suggestion on the drink- it was amazing, after the first sweet-then-sour sip it was Mmm Mmm good!) Now usually people become obsessed with one place, but I do not discriminate....In the last 3 days people I have had taco bell, wendy's, jimmy johns ( deli meat is a no no but I could NOT resist), and now chick-fil-a. I laughed when I listened to my preggo friends when they told me all they wanted was greasy food or carbs...now it is no laughing matter. Well yes it is....they say you can learn a lot about a person by looking in their trash.....and that is a fact. As I went to throw away my chick-fil-a I laughed when I opened my trash can. On the top were two empty fast food cups and three crunched up fast food bags....can't wait until Mike gets home tonight and sees this...My close friend Emily shares the same OB and she is six months preggo and sadly still feeling like poo. Today she made me feel fabulous when she told me what out doctor told her..."If you can only eat twizzlers, then only eat twizzlers. At least you are eating something, it will pass".....I have less guilt as I shoveled my waffle fries :)

Today I ran by Babies-r-us to purchase some preggie pops. They are lollipops that are suppose to help with dry mouth and sickness. As soon as I got in the car I popped one in and it was a sad moment. I wanted to just cry. I was excited for it to work so I could be more comfortable while working. It was nasty! It made me want to throw up & I spit mine out....so back to the drawing board. Hopefully this stays as a first trimester thing!! Don't know how some of my friends had this longer than 12 weeks....

Just wanted to send a BIG THANK YOU to my sweet Emily Ley. She has been a source of information being 4 months ahead of me :) She also has been a great ear especially when I had my first of many crying sessions about my first doctor's visit. Emily was kind enough to give my little blog a much needed ELP/ELC facelift! You should have seen what the blog looked like before...so fuggly! Thanks to her fabulous eye and creative talent she threw together my blog design in a snap an I LOVE IT! Emily owns Emily Ley Paper and I highy suggest you look at her website as I am in love with her paper goods! And if anyone needs some branding help, Emily Let Creative has done some amazing work too! So Thanks again Em!! xoxo

bleeeehhhh

To first start off on a positive note, I have THE best mom! She helped me basically gut out my garage and put together two new shelving units to keep things organized. It took all day Saturday and since I have not been feeling that great & cannot do heavy lifting, my mom did most of the work. Today she came back over and tackled my two guest rooms! I cannot believe how much crap we threw away! I knew I liked saving things; however, I had no clue how much of a pack rat I really was...borderline on embarrassment.

The bad part of today was that I felt horrible- feeling very tired and fatigued. All I could eat was a costco blueberry muffin & milk until around 2ish where I snacked on a handful of oyster crackers. I had no appetite at all and often got waves of nausea. Tonight I managed to get some strength and make some pasta with broccoli and now hoping that I can stomach it.  I will be praying not only for the Bean's health but for some sleep too! I tried so hard to sleep last night, but was unable to crash until 5, waking back up at 9:30. Ridiculous if you ask me. Wondering if my icky feelings today were from the lack of sleep? OR has that time come where first trimester sickness will start to kick in??? Whichever one it may be I pray for a goodnight sleep tonight. I can get through work feeling sick, but sick + tired + fatigued....no way jose.

First Ultrasound

Today has been a flood of emotions. I can first off say that I do not have a ectopic pregnancy and my initial blood work came back confirming that I am prego. So the glass half empty part - during the ultrasound there was this small dark round thing and it turned out to be the "sac" the baby will be in. Will be.....they said that they can't see the baby yet. So this put my mind in a frenzy of emotions. Turns out that I am a lot earlier than I thought. I keep telling myself that this is a GOOD thing. But I only prepped myself for this appointment to either find out that I was ectopic or that the Bean is okay and I would hear the heart beat. Didn't hear it and didn't even see him/her....that was something I wasn't ready for so of course I became a emotional wreck. You know when you are so sad & scared that you are on the edge of a huge crying session but you suck it in because you don't want to look like a hot mess??? That was me. I was trying so hard to not cry but it was impossible. I met Dr. Baker who works with my doctor, Dr. Irvin. She was so sweet and gave me a hug and told me to have tea when I got home. My tea turned out to be grits, eggs, and biscuits and gravy at Cracker Barrel with my mom and dear friend, Emily. It was exactly what I needed. Bad southern food with a dose of girl talk! So what is next? Tomorrow I go to give blood and I am crossing my fingers and will be having a little convo with God tonight that my numbers come back as they should. Good results will give me that extra boost in confidence to last me two more weeks until another ultrasound. Find it ironic that as I type, I am watching Grey's and tonight Meredith's doctor told her she has a "hostile" uterus....this is where I am suppose to be glass half full and say at least I did not receive that news...well I am happy I didn't get that news, BUT wish I heard and saw the bean today.....2 more weeks....

"Say a little prayer..."

Famous singing scene from the movie

I woke up WIDE awake at 5:45 this morning...but I woke up singing- literally, I started to belt out the song from "My Best Friend's wedding" with Julia Roberts....

"From the moment I wake up

Before I put on my makeup

I say a little prayer for you..

While combing my hair now

And wond'ring what dress to wear now

I say a little prayer for you..."

It is a good thing that Mike is back in Chicago for work because he would have thrown a pillow at me! The two nights before I haven't been able to fall asleep until 12 or 1 and woke up at 3 or 2...my nerves have to be getting to me because where is all this rip-van-winkle stuff I hear I am suppose to be experiencing??? Nerves.....well I have had cramping, which is normal, however mine have been staying to one side. Along with this I have had a lot of spotting. Being a first time pregnant woman I have been on edge with a ball of nerves, often tearing up in hopes that everything is okay. I called my doctor's office the other day and to air on the side of precaution they want me to come in to have an ultrasound. Yesterday I did some blood work(which I hear I have to get used to...yuck!), and I go back Friday to do more blood work to make sure my numbers are okay. But today is the day I find out if our little bean is okay. All I want to know is that he/she is where they need to be, and not ectopic. My one-side cramping and spotting are signs of an ectopic pregnancy, hence the reason for our ultrasound appointment.

I am trying to keep high hopes and think happy thoughts, but it is hard. I am 6 weeks and 4 days and that is so early and anything can happen. Our bean's heart has started to beat already & I might be able to hear it today. If I hear that beautiful noise I will be ecstatic! They say that once you hear the heart beat there is a small chance that you will miscarry.... so I guess my mind has resorted to belting out in song to keep me from a mini meltdown! As I was blow drying my hair I started singing songs from Les Miserables, my favorite musical. I am seriously going crazy. I am acting out a musical while flat ironing my hair and then I stop & cry. stop then sing. stop then tear up again. I am one big hot mess and God willing a healthy pregnant hot mess. I know no one is reading this yet, but it feels so good to write this out. A little therapeutic. So I am going to go, pick up my mom (support team) and go face this ultrasound. God gave us this amazing gift and I hope I get to meet him/her today.

Chicago & The Bean

Mike and I just got back from a truly unforgettable weekend in Chicago. On Thursday 10.7.10 I woke up to get ready for a day of sight seeing in chi-town and noticed that I was resembling a lot like Dolly Parton and feeling like I was carrying two watermelons (TMI -I know, but hey that is me!). I grabbed my bag took a pregnancy test and hopped in the shower thinking that it would be negative like the other 15 I had previously taken.  I glanced at the test and was shocked when I saw TWO lines...yes two lines = pregnant!!!!! I can't tell you the flood of emotions I was feeling. I ran to my phone and called Mike who was downstairs working out- "Um, babe.....I uh took a test. A uh pregnancy test.....and we are pregnant!" Mike was in total shock. He ran blocks to find a drug store so we could buy another test to confirm.....and we got another positive!!  They tell you that women can tell when they are pregnant, well I knew. I was using a at home ovulation kit and as soon as my test told me I was ovulating I was so nauseous. I read that it can be normal for women during ovulation. I continued to feel icky off & on the entire day all the way until Chicago. Also, a week prior to leaving on the trip I was drinking our Crystal Light and it tasted gosh awful! I told Mike it tasted like chemicals; however, he said it tasted fine! At night I was really gassy- having small burps (thank goodness I was at home during this!). All the while I felt it. I knew. But every test, 15 of 'em, came back negative. I guess I wanted it so bad I tested a wee bit too early;)

On that day, 10.7.10, Mike and I found ourselves in Millenium Park standing in front of the famous bean sculpture....and that is where the baby was given it's first among many nicknames...The bean. Today I am 6 weeks and 2 days and online it says that the baby is the size of a lentil. Our bean is the size of a bean:) how am I feeling now....well I still get feelings of small sick icky feelings but nothing as bad as some of my friends have experienced. I have a bit of acid reflux where I am tasting acid in the back of my throat, lovely huh? And I am experiencing an added height in smells...today at one point every time I got out of the car I smelled pumpkin goo!?! So strange! I am feeling a little tight in some of my clothes already...yes this I found strange but all my readings confirm that one can start feeling bloated at this time. The one part of this amazing happy experience that is a little difficult is what I call the "Dolly Parton part". My chest is super sore and has kept me up for the past two nights. Boooooooo!!!!

Don't want to be a complainer right now because I am feeling so blessed. SO BLESSED. Thank you God for giving Mike and I this amazing gift. Chicago will always be such a fabulous trip and will forever be talked about!

Day By Day...

So why do I need to join the many other bloggers out there???  I needed an outlet. A place to let it all out when needed. A place that I can let out all stress. All the happiness. All the insanity that is our crazy life. There have been numerous life changing events that have occurred in our life in the last couple years and I am sure those events will appear as goosebumps compared to the mountains that await in the future ;)

{The phrase 'day by day' was adopted while Mike and I were jumping the Lyme hurdle in 08'-09'.  We learned that each day can bring a complication, a new hurdle, happiness, sadness, or unexpected joy...so to cope when people asked us how we were doing we said, "Oh just taking each day by day!"}