First Ultrasound

Today has been a flood of emotions. I can first off say that I do not have a ectopic pregnancy and my initial blood work came back confirming that I am prego. So the glass half empty part - during the ultrasound there was this small dark round thing and it turned out to be the "sac" the baby will be in. Will be.....they said that they can't see the baby yet. So this put my mind in a frenzy of emotions. Turns out that I am a lot earlier than I thought. I keep telling myself that this is a GOOD thing. But I only prepped myself for this appointment to either find out that I was ectopic or that the Bean is okay and I would hear the heart beat. Didn't hear it and didn't even see him/her....that was something I wasn't ready for so of course I became a emotional wreck. You know when you are so sad & scared that you are on the edge of a huge crying session but you suck it in because you don't want to look like a hot mess??? That was me. I was trying so hard to not cry but it was impossible. I met Dr. Baker who works with my doctor, Dr. Irvin. She was so sweet and gave me a hug and told me to have tea when I got home. My tea turned out to be grits, eggs, and biscuits and gravy at Cracker Barrel with my mom and dear friend, Emily. It was exactly what I needed. Bad southern food with a dose of girl talk! So what is next? Tomorrow I go to give blood and I am crossing my fingers and will be having a little convo with God tonight that my numbers come back as they should. Good results will give me that extra boost in confidence to last me two more weeks until another ultrasound. Find it ironic that as I type, I am watching Grey's and tonight Meredith's doctor told her she has a "hostile" uterus....this is where I am suppose to be glass half full and say at least I did not receive that news...well I am happy I didn't get that news, BUT wish I heard and saw the bean today.....2 more weeks....