"Say a little prayer..."

Famous singing scene from the movie

I woke up WIDE awake at 5:45 this morning...but I woke up singing- literally, I started to belt out the song from "My Best Friend's wedding" with Julia Roberts....

"From the moment I wake up

Before I put on my makeup

I say a little prayer for you..

While combing my hair now

And wond'ring what dress to wear now

I say a little prayer for you..."

It is a good thing that Mike is back in Chicago for work because he would have thrown a pillow at me! The two nights before I haven't been able to fall asleep until 12 or 1 and woke up at 3 or 2...my nerves have to be getting to me because where is all this rip-van-winkle stuff I hear I am suppose to be experiencing??? Nerves.....well I have had cramping, which is normal, however mine have been staying to one side. Along with this I have had a lot of spotting. Being a first time pregnant woman I have been on edge with a ball of nerves, often tearing up in hopes that everything is okay. I called my doctor's office the other day and to air on the side of precaution they want me to come in to have an ultrasound. Yesterday I did some blood work(which I hear I have to get used to...yuck!), and I go back Friday to do more blood work to make sure my numbers are okay. But today is the day I find out if our little bean is okay. All I want to know is that he/she is where they need to be, and not ectopic. My one-side cramping and spotting are signs of an ectopic pregnancy, hence the reason for our ultrasound appointment.

I am trying to keep high hopes and think happy thoughts, but it is hard. I am 6 weeks and 4 days and that is so early and anything can happen. Our bean's heart has started to beat already & I might be able to hear it today. If I hear that beautiful noise I will be ecstatic! They say that once you hear the heart beat there is a small chance that you will miscarry.... so I guess my mind has resorted to belting out in song to keep me from a mini meltdown! As I was blow drying my hair I started singing songs from Les Miserables, my favorite musical. I am seriously going crazy. I am acting out a musical while flat ironing my hair and then I stop & cry. stop then sing. stop then tear up again. I am one big hot mess and God willing a healthy pregnant hot mess. I know no one is reading this yet, but it feels so good to write this out. A little therapeutic. So I am going to go, pick up my mom (support team) and go face this ultrasound. God gave us this amazing gift and I hope I get to meet him/her today.