This is LOOOONG overdue. I have expressed my deepest gratitude to my husband personally and I want to let all my friends and family know how the last year would not be possible if I did not have such a supportive partner in Mike.

For obvious reasons I would not be sitting here today looking over at the sweetest child swaying in her swing if it wasn’t for my “co-producer” Mike. From the day we found out I was pregnant Mike was ecstatic for our growing family!

From reading my past posts it is quite evident that I did not have the happiest experience being pregnant. Thanks to my husband and loving mother I do not know how I would have had the peace of mind to last the entire 9 + months and labor without them!

When we found out we were going to have a little girl I was a wee bit nervous, as I knew Mike wanted a boy so bad.  I knew that if he had a boy first it might be easier to get all the “baby firsts” out of the way until he juggled joining team pink. But it was somewhere during the sixth month that while driving Mike confessed he was actually happier to be a daddy to a girl….that day I fell in love with him even more. I knew he would be that dad holding flowers for Lily as we watched her dance during a recital. That dad that would stand up to give a huge “Goooooo Lily” when she ran onto the stage for a cheer competition. The dad that would allow his daughter to put a dress and hat on him for a late afternoon tea party with her favorite stuffed toys.  That kinda dad. I had always known he would be that way…it was a main reason why I said, “I do.”

During my pregnancy he was wonderful. Do NOT get me wrong there were tons of moments in my high hormone rages that I wanted him to pack up and leave for a few days. It did take him a LONG time to figure out how to cope with a pregnant wife. There were some days I almost fell asleep at the dinner table and couldn’t listen to how his day went because I was so tired. There were weekends were I slept the ENTIRE time to catch up from work or prepare for work the next week.  Then there were those moments where every pregnant woman cries. Cries for any reason at all. Those were the toughest for Mike. Especially those huge crocodile tear fests. When I would get all Miss Diva Hormone. He had a hard time just sitting back and accepting that this “B!%@h “ attitude was something I could not control. I eventually went to Barnes & Noble and bought him a book. A funny book written to explain to him what us woman truly going through while we grown a human being inside our bellies! That booked saved us from so many future arguments. There were a few points were I would start to moan about a new pregnancy symptom and Mike would jump into the conversation telling me he understood what I was going through because he read it in the book! One.Of.The.Best.Purchases.Ever! 

Besides the lack of knowledge on how to deal with a raging bull of a wife, Mike stepped up big time in all other avenues of being a supportive daddy-to-be (well minus back rubs- his consisted of a one finger dagger rub- very painful!). Basically during my entire pregnancy I had a horrible time preparing food. The smells made me want to curl up into a ball. Mike was my amazing in home chef. And by in home chef I do mean- mac-n-cheese and pankcakes….meals for champions! Also during my every hour bathroom trip during the middle of the night I would find myself dehydrated and often starving! Mike would get up, fill up my cup and bring me some oatmeal or cheerios.

I also had an extremely hard time during my pregnancy at how my body changed physically. No one can prepare you. And by the way, SCREW those Mtv teens that pop out their babies and look normal by the next episode.  Sorry had to vent as I just saw a commercial on tv for that horrible show. When it came to what was changing physically, Mike was my rock. Between the acne, gas, grey hair (yes I got grey hair people!) stretch marks and apparent massive weight gain, Mike told me he loved me everyday.  

Once Lily was born I discovered I really hit the jack pot when it came to husbands. I mean he truly goes out of his way to make sure he is there for both of us. I know it kills him to be on the road. So sometimes Mike will get up extra early to get on the road instead of leaving the night before so he can be there just for bath time rituals! Every morning he is home he helps me tremendously by taking Lily in the morning so I can take a shower ( a luxury for mommies!).  He makes coffee every day….something I know we both need to combat the day, but still it is one less thing I have to do in the morning. These are just some of the many things Mike does....

So to my loving husband, I thank you. Thank you for being my better half, my rock….Thank you for loving me through the good and the bad times on the road to being parents. You have given me so much, but the most amazing gift you have ever given me is the gift of motherhood.  I love you so much muffin…. 

soaking it up....

Where has the last 3 1/2 months gone??? It is true that the time leading up to having a baby goes at a snails pace and as soon as you deliver the minutes fly by. I try to soak up every minute. We recently went to Hilton Head to visit my Nana & Papa and as we were riding around in my Nana's golf cart she gave me some great advice. She told me not to wish away my baby's life. As soon as she said it I didn't understand. I quickly skimmed over things I had done or said that may have provoked her to say this. My Nana explained that I shouldn't wish for future milestones, as they will be here before you know it. Just soak up the time now because she will be grown before you know it. She would know raising seven kids!!! I have caught myself since then saying, "Oh Lily I can't wait until you can full wrap your hand around me and hug me!" After I said that I stopped and reminded myself of what my Nana had told me. So I just hugged her tight and was happy with where we are today. Today, when I hold Lily (btw no holding her like a baby any more! She must be held sitting up so she can view the world!) she will hold one of her arms over my shoulders and wiggle her fingers around searching for something to grab. Sometimes she just grips my shirt or rubs my shoulder. Most of the time the princess snags a hold of my hair- OUCH! So I am soaking this up. One day she will hug me back....but at the moment I am content watching her little fingers squirm around learning the sensation of textures.

What else am I soaking up- the trip I told you about. My mom, Lily and I drove to visit my Grandma, Aunt, Uncle and cousins in Augusta Georgia and then hiked it to Hilton Head to visit my Nana & Papa. I was so excited that Lily was meeting her great grandparents on both sides! I never got the chance to meet my great grandparents, and it was so special to give Lily and my grandparents that moment. I was so nervous about the long drive to Augusta- BUT Lily did awesome! Better than awesome! Of course she cried when she was hungry but other than that she had a grand 'ole time hanging out with my mom, her Nana, in the back seat! It just was a looooooooong trip for my mom and me. Lily is still on a every flipping 2 hour feeding schedule- so by the time I pulled over, fed her, changed her, ran to the ladies room and started driving again we only got about an hour or so of driving before I had to pull over and start it all over again!!! So we left the house at 10:30 am and reached GA at 8:15 pm! I learned my lesson, so we left after supper from Hilton Head and Lily slept the entire way home. I look forward to going back so I can capture some more memories for Lily, BUT we will be waiting until she can go longer in between feedings and will be driving at night!!

Lily and her Great Grandma Boykin (GA)

Lily with my cousin Will (GA- go dawgs;))

Showing her a fallen leaf ( don't get to many of these in FL)

Enjoying the outdoors with my fabulous Aunt Jane (GA)

Lilster and her Great Papa Montgomery (SC)- I heart this picture

Lily enjoying herslef with her Great Nana (SC)- I caught the right moment ;)

Aunt Carla drove down from Charlotte

Four generations :)

Tomorrow my baby will be 7 weeks old. People are not kidding when they tell you that time will fly by when you have your kids. 7 weeks….that is bananas. But when I sit back and think of the wild ride we were on to get to this 7 week marker it blows my mind. Everything I thought I knew, what I was told, and what I built my confidence level up to for labor went right out the window the minute I woke up on the day to go to the hospital! So here is the story of the birth of our precious Lily Mackenzie….

I was scheduled to give birth on June 21^st.  We were suppose to be at the hospital at 6:15 a to start induction…the moment I had been yearning for over 9+ months.  Sleep was really out of the question as I was experiencing a horde of emotions. I was beyond excited to finally meet this being that had taken over my body. I had started to get nervous and scared of all the what ifs that could arise during labor. Nervous also that from June 21^st on I was responsible for taking care and raising another human being….would I do it right?

As Mike and I began to pack the car with our hospital bags that had been patiently waiting on our dining room tables for weeks we got the call I did not want. Yep they had to push back the induction. The hospital was over crowded with other ladies trying to give birth. No fair. I was told that they would call us and to expect that it would only be about 2 hours, 3 at most. I was told by the nurse that I could only have a very small portion of something to eat since I had not had anything since dinner the night before (guidelines for induction!). So I had the tiniest bowl of cheerios and settled on the couch and began to watch the tv & the clock for the next 3 hours. After no word I called the hospital to check the status and again it was still over crowded and there was nothing they could do since more woman had arrived in emergency during active labor. Of course I understood that active labor triumphed my induction, BUT I was on the verge of a meltdown. I was full of emotions, tired and an extremely hungry pregnant woman.  I was told they would call me back in 2 more hours and that they would work hard to get me in around 12:15 so I could be induced today. I kinda freaked out then. I had not prepared myself that I would have to wait another full day if they couldn’t get me in by noon! I took some breaths and tried to close my eyes for a bit. At 12:15 I was on the phone again asking the status. The nurses knew who I was, and I hated to be that woman, but I didn’t care! Thank goodness that the woman on the end of the line was a saint and I was already so dilated & I had an amazing doc on call because they told be to come in around 2:30 and that they would start me today!! THANK GOD! 1:40 came and we were in the car and off. I just wanted to get there! We were told that we might have to wait a bit, but that they wanted me there waiting so I could get in as soon as a bed opened up. I think we waited about 35 minutes when were finally called back and that is when the “omg-this-is-really-happening” set in.

The room was big and spacious, but I had no time to really look around before I was in a gown and getting an IV. The monitors showed I was having contractions already….so that was what those cramps were! And then Dr. Botello showed up to break my water.  Best description is that I was peeing myself and continuously doing so on and off during the entire labor process! I was scared because I was told that there was meconium (baby poop) found, which could be harmful to the baby. They said the amount found was reassuring and they would keep checking during labor. As soon as my water broke the contractions got worse. The monitors next to the bed showed when I was having one and how strong/long they were….so, I hardly looked over to view it during a contraction, only after to see how bad it was. To get an epidural you had to get an IV full of fluid. I lasted as long as I could knowing that the epidural could slow down labor.  That IV seemed like it took forever!!! As soon as it was gone the nurse walked in with another one…I was not prepared for that curve ball! She harnessed a contraption on it to squeeze it so it would pump faster into the IV.  During the waiting game the contractions were horrendous. I tried slow deep breaths and inside my head

I kept telling myself “you can do it”. Now in between these horrid contractions I had my mom and Mike sitting less than 10 feet from one another, one on their iphone and the other clutching an ipad playing words with friends against EACHOTHER! I know the game can be addicting but come ON! As I would be huffing in and out making noises like a drowned cat, I would hear “Oh man that was a good word” from one of them and then the other laugh as they soaked in victory. I let it go on for a while as I concentrated on pushing out a watermelon until I had had enough. I screamed at them to shut up. I know I used some expletives….but , no other woman who has gone through labor would blame me! When I had finally accomplished the two bags of IV fluid I had a team of people in the room helping me gear up for the epidural. The nurses had asked me to sit up and swing my legs over the edge of the bed. They said it like it was as easy as breathing. I had to have Mike help we as the pain was so bad it made moving unbearable. I kept telling myself that I would get the goods soon and the pain would be gone to help with the contractions during the procedure. Gosh was it weird. I got horrible cramping, which I was told was a good sign. I then had these weird sharp spasms when the meds went in…again to be expected. I was told it would be happy as a lark in 15 minutes….I told myself I could do it. 15 minutes later and I felt like I was dying. Another doc came in and injected the line with meds that were supposed to take effect in 5 minutes. 6 minutes later I was crying out in pain. Another doc came in scrambling through her pocket for the needle of meds she would inject. Again nothing. I literally didn’t know if I could make it. The pain was unbearable. Finally the original anesthesiologist came in and said that my line had moved out of place. And they would have to re-do my epidural. She said this was most likely due to my scoliosis (curved spine) and that she would have to go lower it. Again the nurses asked me to sit up and move my legs over the side of the bed. I looked at them like they were smoking crack. This time the nurse and Mike had to help me. At one point during a rest in between contractions I felt wetness from one of my boobs. I looked to my nurses and said, “I think I have milk spraying out..” they laughed and said it was normal. The doc finally found the spot for the epidural and the meds kicked in pretty quickly. As I moved my legs back over I looked to see if I was spraying milk and realized I was dripping sweat. I was in such pain I couldn’t distinguish milk from sweat!

DRUGS ARE AMAZING. I felt like a new woman when they kicked in! After a while of turning from side to side to help with the dilation I started to get a little loopy. The loopy turned to feeling a little dizzy. Then the room started to spin faster and I felt like I was going to pass out. I remember my nurse coming in and reading my blood pressure & call in the head nurse who then called for the doctor. I remember 3 doctors came rushing in and then 3 other nurses. They started to lay me down, raise the bed so my feet were in the air and put the oxygen on. Then I was given a shot of epinephrine to speed my heart rate. My blood pressure had dropped all the way to 55 over 30, which is insanely low.  For two more hours my BP went up and down and I had to have another shot of epinephrine. I was close to having a c-section because of it. I was later told that with both epidurals it was a little too much for my body, and it wasn’t that rare, however the level of which my BP dropped was!

I tried to keep calm; however, it was hard looking at both my mom and Mike’s worried faces. Eventually my BP leveled out and finally 9 hours from when we began it was time to push. I pushed for two hours.  The first hour felt like a lifetime. Lily was stuck and I was getting looks from the nurse and Dr. Botello that this was about to be a c-section. Something in me snapped and something supernatural took over and I was giving “amazing” pushes said my doctor.  I remember seeing a scalpel being handed over to the doctor and that is when I knew I was going to have an episiotomy….there was no time to dwell on that because all my energy was needed to push. And then there she was. It was an experience words hardly do justice. She was beautiful even covered in slime and looking so swollen. I didn’t get to hold her  for more than a few seconds before they had to check on the meconium and she if her lungs were okay. From her cries, I had no worries! When they handed her back to me all bundled up I could not stop crying. I was so overwhelmed with love and happiness. My heart was breaking from the immeasurable amount of love pouring from it for that child in my arms. I was forever changed at that moment. I was a proud mommy.

Lily arrived a day later than planned. I met my little darling at 3:05 am on June 22^nd, weighing in at 8.2 lbs and 20 ½ inches! Mike and I are truly blessed and everyday we wake up we thank God for this amazing gift of parenthood. Of course I am bias, but Lily is an amazing child. She is perfect. Of course there are moments of crying, major diaper changes,  and sleep deprivation…but  we wouldn’t trade it for anything. These last 7 weeks have flown by. And I wish she would stay small, but I can’t wait for all the milestones the future brings….

*By the way this has taken me a whole day to type up between feeding her, changing diapers, play time, and trying to rock her to sleep for her small naps! Hopefully I can find the time to write about the first 7 weeks before another 7 weeks pass*

Enjoy some pictures …

(please do not give out the blog, as these stories and pictures are private and only met for my close friends and family)

more pics to come...