2 + 1 = 3 :)

Tomorrow we finally get to meet our precious Lily. I cannot take this huge grin off my face. I was really nervous all day....it hit me after our am doctor's visit that  it would no longer be just Mike and I....we would have an actual human being depending on us for the rest of our lives. I was, and still am, scared/nervous for the actual labor process. There WILL be an epidural...kudos to those wackos out there that can push out a watermelon without the need for pain meds.....I am not that kind of woman and never will be. I cry over paper cuts people. I wonder how long I will last, how long labor will be, and most importantly if I will be able to go the non-c section route. Whatever is safest for Lily will have to do but I would love not having to deal with post surgery Amy. If I cry over paper cuts, imagine how I am after surgery!

Having this huge grin is a total 180 for how I have been over the last two weeks, especially the last week! I always heard that the end of your pregnancy is so hard, you are so tired ya di ya.....well it was unbearable for me. This was not an easy pregnancy and towards the end almost everyday I was experiencing something new or even more difficulties with the symptoms I was having. It was such a mind game I wasn't prepared for. You see I am a MAJOR planner, and the game began at our 36 week check up when I was surprised to find that I was already 70% effaced. It seemed everyone I spoke to said wow you could go early...so the planner in me started to prepare myself for that scenario. At 37 weeks I was 75% effaced and already dilated 1 cm! Then more people said I bet you go at 38 weeks....so I got even more excited. At 38 weeks I had no change. The doctor even stripped my membrane to help induce labor. It doesn't always work but if it does you are expected to have the baby within 3 days. It was a very painful procedure, but I didn't care....all I wanted was to be done and have my baby! Four days later no baby...I hit a wall and started to second guess a little but was still hopeful that I would go before 40 weeks. At 39 weeks I hit 2-3 cm and 80%- I thought for sure I would go at any point!!! That doctor tried to strip my membrane again just to see if it would work...this time it was even more painful and what do you know, it did not work....At 40 weeks no change again!!! There I am, Mrs. planner, all ready for baby because of all these signs of being dilated and getting my membrane stripped, and then nothing....I was so emotional. On top of that I have had family and friends email, text and call daily wondering where she is. One day I had  had it and did not answer my phone at all, not even for my dad. I called my mom crying. Sobbing I yelled "I have NO clue when she is coming, I am going to be pregnant forever, I want people to stop asking!" Know now that I totally understand and appreciate all the caring friends and family I have. It is has been so tough because I felt like I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. NOW I do! Now I smile instead of cry because tomorrow it all comes to an end and I finally get to meet this child inside me.

I kept myself busy all day and didn't take a nap so I could hopefully get some sleep tonight....I will be surprised if I get 2 hours....I am so pumped. We have to be at the hospital tomorrow morning at 6:15 to start the induction! June 21st will be my baby's birth date!!!  Gotta run and finish packing Mike's bag, mine has been packed for weeks;)

Sweet moments..

Now anyone who knows me knows that I am a lover all things music...some of my biggest moments in my life thus far are matched with a song/artist/concert ya di ya. I only hope that Lily has a love and passion for music like I do. When I was a little girl I used to carry around a little tape recorder with a microphone and belt out Whitney tunes. I took it even farther when I put dance moves to it and made my family sit and watch me for long periods of time as I performed my concerts....there is embarrassing video of this too! I was obsessed with Whitney and Michael Jackson. I even had a full length poster on the back of my door when we lived in Florida- so that was preschool-kindergarten era. I have played music for Lily throughout the pregnancy and sing to her all the time. One song I sing often is "I'll be there" by none other MJ and the Jackson 5. The other song I sing to her is Stevie Wonder's "isn't she lovely"....and my mom actually found a cute wall plaque with some of the lyrics! So here you go- enjoy two sweet songs that I sing to my sweet Lily often....

"I'll be there"

"Isn't She Lovely" cover by Kevin McHale from Glee

"You Spin Me Right Round..."

Oh boys & girls did we have an interesting night last night!! Around 4:15 I woke up to flip to my other side (happens countless times each night to get comfortable) and I felt so dizzy. I was a little shocked but I first thought I must have just been in a deep sleep to cause this. I have gotten light headed twice- last time it was at the doctors and I stood up to quickly. BUT when I shut my eyes I started to get the spins....I woke up and tried to move to a different position and I felt like I was moving in slow motion. I decided to try and get up and walk to the restroom. As I was walking I felt like a pin ball bouncing to each wall and I barely made it to the toilet. I sat there for about 2 minutes but the room was spinning and I knew I should not try to walk back to the bed so I called to Mike. He jumped out of bed to rush to see what was going on. It took 3 attempts to stand up before we were successful. But I could barely hold myself up, each time I tried to move my head to look at mike or back to the bed I was sent into a horrible spin. We called the on call doctor and she told me to lay down and just rest and that if I still had it in the morning that they would have me come in to check my blood pressure. Well thanks to Mike's old pharma job we have a blood pressure machine that he used to give to doctors. The first time he took it it was low, so I sat up to retake it. I was fine. I just laid back down and proceeded to cry- mostly because in my head I was freaked out, tired and thought something was wrong. But after 2 hours of spinning I finally past out. I woke up 2 hours later and felt okay. I was just really weak. I can't imagine people that have to battle vertigo often- it is horrible!!! My friend Meg has been dealing with this for 10 flipping weeks since the birth of her daughter Piper. Docs told her it was due to dehydration...needless to say I will be drinking loads more water when Lily is born!

Tomorrow will mark 38 weeks....only 2 more left. Just wondering what other pregnancy woes I will encounter before birth! Anyways that is a quick update! My next appointment is this Friday and I am wondering if I will be any further along than what I measured last week!